So Much

Gray breeze colors the windows of this country home today

Aches in back and heart become my course

and winter has begun.

It's icy outside, cold cold.

I could dwell in it, as I let my small pup in from the damp flakes.

But there is warmth

and gratefulness

that flood my being

My counters are full of supplies, leftover from feasts. The fires burn with happy glow. There are jokes and funny stories being laugh at---

It's not even nine AM!

Joy. Joy in the pain.

This full life that wants for nothing,

small pup curled at my feet, dear children, every need satisfied---

Memories of things these young ones are living now come easily. I needn't relive their fun.

I had it. I lived it. I remember it!

I can sit in my old age and think of them: buildings, streets, stores, plays, sights---warmth and sun!

Faces that filled my past.

Today I go to a funeral and I will shed a tear for the family that will grieve. I will remember my brief encounters with the deceased. I am glad that his suffering is over.

And we all should be glad that suffering can end for some of us.


I wish, for all of us. But that is not in my hands.

There is hope in this world for us, but we must choose it. Seek it.

And then the gratefulness can bridge the pain of this small suffering.

So much, so much.